The Day I was Supposed To Die


I am glad to be alive, I was supposed to die on 18 October at 9pm. I am very fortunate to be here.

On that day I had about 2 Cents left in my phone and there I was downloading images on whatsapp. Holding that little phone like our old folks did to novels back in the day. Then the message came in…

It was a long message; about some guy or the other who attained wealth by sending that message around in 1960 something… It was long and winding but the bottom line was “If you don’t send this to 15 or more people within 15 munites you die…”. My object of affection sent me yet another pic and I downloaded it. It was beautiful; stared at it for about 5minutes… The hair, curves, lips… Reminded me of our escapades in the city and how we made each other smile. She is quite a hottie you know… Then It hit me… I have 9 minutes to live. I wont see her ever… I must forward the message lol.

As I sent out my first message my credit depleted like tryning to start an engine with a duracell battery “Are You Nuts?”. Uh oh… No airtime… It was dark outside and getting out there was going to be futile. My stomach started to feel strange.

Within a few more minutes I had warmed up the toilet seat twice. And the clock was ticking. I took my pad with me to write a quick will.

My bed was going to the local florist. See my bed has flowers printed on the mattress and I thought…”He might need a flower bed.”

My computer would make it to the local museum. Though the hardrive would be seized by the FBI… Lord knows what’s in there. Time was ticking…

My friend Patrick would finally be able to take my girl. Oh I’ve seen him smile at her… I realized I’d be watching them via Google Earth.

But who was going to inherit my problems. My unpaid bills, my debts, my EcoNOT Line!!! Who was to carry the burden of being bombed by adverts in your inbox every morning….

No one!

Because after writing that little will and all that. I realized the time I was supposed to die had long gone past. Or I am immortal…

Yep, I am alive now and I certainly do not appreciate chain messages. That’s exactly what they are… CHAIN MESSAGES… because people get so “chained and bound” to these messages that they spam everyone fearing death… or “hell” or misfortune….

“Like for Heaven; ignore for Free Drake CD…”

Come on man; do we have to scare each other like that? Nope… religion is optional. I don’t have to choose your religion because you’re threatening hell upon me (or a Drake CD).

With all that said I thank God am alive… and ummm send this to 15 people or have a power cut for 3 days. Yeah… they will forget they cut your power off.


  1. man you really are great at humor…reading your articles just chased away all the clouds in my day today and gave me something to laugh about. By the way THANK HEAVENS YOU ARE ALIVE….because who would write such good articles for us


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