Who’s winning Anyway by Vimbai Lole


” You have absolutely no right to talk to me like that considering everything I do for you.” My friend says her former boyfriend would always pull out that line whenever she complained about something he had done. He always could shut her up this way. She would really feel he did enough good for her already through the all the  money he spent on her for her to want anything more, even if that anything more was a little respect and appreciation. She was to realize later that it had been better her then boyfriend cared about her than care for her.

Now ladies, this is one issue I wish I could make all of you understand. Your boyfriend is just and only that – your boyfriend, not your husband and certainly not your father! So please for Pete’s sake let us stop expecting our boyfriends to give us money for our hair, clothes, lunch, or to pay for everything and buy us all sundry. The second you start expecting money from someone you are dating know that you are selling yourself disappointingly  short. When it becomes a habit for you to ask shamelessly for money you have already put yourself in a position of great inferiority to him as as it is just as good as you begging him to see you as the dependent little girlfriend he can control with money.

Why would you do that?! Are we so lazy we can’t work for our own money or we are just not satisfied with what we already have or maybe we really are just a bunch of gold diggers? Its disheartening how ladies expect to be treated as equals or with just a bit more respect by men and yet we willingly put ourselves across as people who cannot do for our own,on our own just as the guys do! You want to be treated fairly sweety? Then buy your own freaking phone recharge cards! If he wants to spoil you at times if he is a gentleman, he will, just as you should spoil him also! So he buys you airtime, gives you money every month-end, pays for everything when you go out? My Lord! , what are you, a charity case through which he gives back to the community? And then you complain when he also wants ‘favours’ . Give a brother a break! If I was also doing that for you I would expect you to pay, generously, in kind too! Fair deal don’t you think, he becomes your wallet, you become his semi-domesticated sex machine!

Lets learn to be independent, it wont hurt anyone. If they can do it, we can also do it. And no, you do not need to be half naked online for them to see your beauty, it’s fine, the curves are visible even with all your clothes on. All those comments and likes you get? It is just their thirst and not your beauty (not that you are not beautiful), in other words it’s them and not you. Many a thing guys will do to get what they want.Keep it classy and never trashy.


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