Lamentations of Love

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They tell me that love is all we need to survive,but what if its love that makes you wish you weren’t alive?

Alive I arise with the sun as the wind blows, I feel the awakening of the promises of eternity.. Promises that never fade a promise of love that seems to be a phase..

A phase that was a gross waste of my days.. I loved her in any and all ways,time, money, devotion and emotion spent in vain.I gave my life for love but got shame, I love you but can’t love you, its driving me insane.

Insane sounds like my name now.. Thinking of you brings me shame, as I look in the mirror I see a face that’s repulsing, my emotions are convulsing, confusion that is so repulsing.. I loved you yesterday, today and tomorrow but today you bring me sorrow

I’m supposed to hate you, but find myself praying for you, im supposed to leave for me but find myself staying for you

You have been the imagination of Love that is kind and patient.. Love that is smoothe and slow… Love that is gentle and more but I find myself not breathing when I want to leave you, hurting , when I want to free you, praying for you, praying that maybe you will fly.

But even if you fly away, the thoughts and emotions of you haunt me, love songs and images of happy couples seem to taunt me,i put on a brave face just to save face but inside im hurting, putting on happy emoji shows on podiums but its all sad faces behind the curtain.

Deep I lay, in the deepest darkness of emotions that are grave.. Longing that I go back to the day I met you, wishing I never looked, wishing you only had me at hello. I hate this, I really hate this part right here.. Every corner I turn I see your face it burns & I cannot find shade to hide so I can get away from you.. You have me twisted all over you but I crave to be strong.

If love is patient, then I have to be patient enough to wait for someone better, if love is kind, then I need to be kind to myself enough to not let you hurt me again, if love endures all, then somehow I’ll get over you..

 

written by Panashe ‘Arcane’ Madziva & Emily ‘Athena’ Pike

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