Good Poem by Vimbai Lole – Thinking Twice: Dialogue between Myself

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Have I failed thee?
Warehouse to shredded dreams
Long ballard announcing ill fate
Blurred vision, tears block the future.
Nourished on black milk,
my soul you are weary.

But what if there was a way;
Nice pliable rope, well oiled,
Elevation to doom, calculated height off the ground
And all this becomes vain,
Piece of paper would I leave to them
Containing my last thoughts,
Souvenir of something I never wanted.

Have I sunk this low?
Contemplating my own demise…
Why am I dancing atop my own uncelebrated house six-feet in the ground?
Will they stop loving me with my last breath?
Tell me, am I plotting the destruction of something that does not belong to myself?
Am I covering the void from which our spirit could flow out from?
So many questions…
You laugh! You have the answers?

Sweet me! the world has done me in.
Shads of broken glass floating in nothingness, space.
That is fatal!
Time keeps sliping into the future,
what have I to show for it?
It is never easy is it?
Deceiving myself
Watching
Watching the world through rose coloured lens.
Gyrating to the rhythmic numbing screams.
Did I not notice it is I screaming all along!
I am putting an end to this
Jumping into oblivion!

Darn tootin’, do not the bad days exist for the good?
for the defination, appreciation and anticipation of them good days?
Like a torrential downpour after a long spell of dryness.
Life to my parched being.
I’m sticking out my tongue, waiting for the rains.

How many more days will I waste waiting though?
I am a clean mess,
I need a rest.

But love can take care of me!
I will turn my eyes upwards.
The clouds are getting dark and heavy.

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